It seems that the world seems to be going a bit crazy at the moment, or at least that is the impression I get when I hear my humans yelling at the tee vee about the wars and Donald Trump and all the dreadful things that humans seem to like doing to each other which go beyond reason.

Now, I want to make one thing very very clear. I am not hiding because I am a scaredy cat, I am hiding because I get fed up with listening to my humans getting fighty about all the problems in the world and how they should be cured. My humans often disagree (sometimes very loudly). Isn’t there enough arguing going on in the world without those two adding to it? I asked the She Human and she said to me that ideas for solving bad things in the human world come into being when they discuss things. The She Human says ‘Mont you have never heard about the dialectic have you?’ OF COURSE I have not heard about the dialectic, whatever that may be. She Human gets very tiresome when she comes out with all the pollyticks lingo and then got even more when she says that ‘changes in the global paradigm will only happen when ideas are put to test by a process of contestation between opposing groups’. O-kay, I think I will have to try and escape outdoors and lie in the sun or drink water out of the water butt, or pop in to see my friend Sponge next door who has far more sensible humans than I do.

I found the She Human with a furrowed brow earlier this evening. ‘oh Mont’ she said ‘I am worried about Art Human and Grumpy human in the Yewnited States. They sound so fed up and things don’t seem to be improving under that Donald Trump (the orange Ginny Pig Man). What on earth can they do?’

I had a little think about this and wondered what I would do if I was in their situation. I know that if my humans wind me up, I disappear into the garden and stay out for hours until the He Human has to go out in the garden with a torch in the middle of the night whistling for me. I sit under my favourite bush and let him get on with it. Then, one of our neighbours (who shall remain nameless) whistles back at the He Human which makes him very cross. I wander in a bit later when the She Human rattles the cat biscuit bag at me and ignore the He Human and his torch.

Of course I would never suggest that humans do what the cat in the picture (who looks remarkably like me!) is doing but the option is there. But it never hurts to remind the enemy of what you are capable of. Becoming ungovernable is always an option.

Mont