My readers may wonder what on earth I have been doing during the first month of the reign of the orange King Oompah Loompah of Vengeance.

I have been having a great deal of trouble with the She Human who has been involved with projects of her own, mainly relating to the yewniversity (yes, she is thinking about more studdying).

However, she has also been a bit taken aback with the pace of the ginny pig man’s craziness. ‘Mont’ she says, “no sooner do I write up your latest posting than the ginny pig man is doing more crazy things like tariffs and wores and my writing is out of date”. She is right to a point, The GP man is like a hyperactive toddler. The moment you take your eye off him, he’s started trashing his play pen and making lots of mess for his helper humans to clear up. I must admit that I have moments like this in the middle of the night when I want feeding or letting out into the garden. I chase up and down the stairs and make lots of noise so that I get what I want. This is quite a rare occurrence, not every day like the Oompah Loompah of Vengeance. And, of course, I am not the President of the Yewnited States of America.

But if only it was just the Orange one. He also has his friend Space Karen, who he has set to sorting out government effishunsee. This involves him turning up in government departments in Washingtun with his team of teenage teenyboppers and firing all the staff – only to have to reemploy them all a fortnight later. Doesn’t seem very efficient to me and if today’s news of another one of Space Karen’s rockets blowing up in the skies over the Caribbean Sea and angry US Humans setting fire to Space Karen’s swasticar charging stations, Space Karen should be paying more attention to the day job rather than poncing about pretending that he has some sort of democratic mandate. The idea of sorting out government effishunsee assumes that the human doing the sorting out has 1. An idea about effishunsee and 2. A clue about how government works. It is very clear that the Space Karen has no idea about either.

And let’s not even discuss the poor humans in Yewkraine…. I will save that for my next posting.

Monty